Suddenly a caregiver? Here’s some help with where to start

Sometimes, becoming a caregiver can be startling—like having a deer jump into the road in front of you. And when you feel like you don't know where to start, taking on this life-changing responsibility can feel overwhelming.

Here’s a list of important things you can do to understand what's happening—and what's needed—so you can start providing the care and attention your loved one deserves.

Assess the situation

Learn as much as you can about your loved one’s current medical state and circumstances. This will highlight what you need to do now, and it'll give you an idea of what might be needed in the future. 

Getting answers to these questions will get you started. If needed, plan to talk with your loved one’s primary care provider (PCP) and/or care team. 

• What is the medical situation right now?
• How can/will the situation evolve?
• How many medical specialists are involved now in providing care? 
• What type of care is being provided now, and how long is it needed? 
• Are there any changes to current medications, or have new ones been prescribed?
• Is care information being shared with your loved one’s PCP? 
• If your loved one is hospitalized, what's the discharge plan? It’s never too early to ask about this because you'll need to prepare.

In most situations, health care providers will be able to share key information with you. But in some cases, your loved one will need to have a signed HIPAA form—the document that gives a third party (you) access to the medical information of the person receiving care. At some point, you may need to learn about other signed documents that pertain to what your loved one's wishes are for treatment, such as a health care proxy.

You may also want to contact your loved one’s health insurance plan to learn about any services or benefits that may be of use. If your loved one has Medicare, you’ll need to use the Appointment of Representative form.

Do a safety assessment

If your loved one has been living at home and will return there—or will be staying in someone else’s home—it’s important to make sure it’s a safe environment. Here are important things to focus on:

• Fix any tripping hazards. 
• Inside the home, secure any loose area rugs or exposed power cords, and clear hallways and stairs of clutter. 
• Outside the home, fix any broken steps, handrails, or uneven walkways. 
• Make sure there's plenty of indoor lighting and that it's easy to access.
• Put lamp switches within easy reach, and have flashlights handy.
• Install always-on night lights in hallways, bedrooms, and bathrooms.
• Figure out if any assistive devices would be helpful, such as: 
• A hospital or adjustable bed, or any adaptive assistance products such as adjustable bed rails or medical step stools with handrails
• Grab bars, waterproof seats, and/or rubber mats for the bathroom
• A wearable medical alert device

Look after yourself 

You’re taking on an important role, and it’s easy to overextend yourself. Taking care of yourself will help you be at your best when taking care of your loved one.

• Look to your community and family for support. Find a caregiver support group, either locally or online, and ask family members to lend a hand.
• Eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise. All will support your overall well-being, which will help you succeed in your new role as caregiver.
• If your company has an employee assistance program (EAP), use it. It can provide information, support, and resources to help you with caregiving.
• Take time off if you need to. The Massachusetts Paid Family Medical Leave (MA-PFML) law provides job protection and temporary wage replacement for most people who work in Massachusetts when they need to manage family or medical situations.

Originally posted: November 2022
Last updated: January 2026