Signs of caregiver depression and 3 ways to deal with it

Caregiver depression doesn’t announce its arrival. Instead, it creeps into your life a few small steps at a time. You probably won’t even notice. Then, one day, you realize you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious.

What often happens is that caregivers fall into a cycle. The more stressed you feel, the more depressed you become. And then the more depressed you feel, the more stressed you become. It’s a cycle that caregivers experience often—and when they do, it can create a domino effect.

For example, caregivers experiencing depression often stop going to the gym and spending time with friends. Instead, they start having extra snacks during the day or more wine or beer in the evening to soothe themselves.

They may also stop going for their mammograms and other routine health checks. They may even delay seeking care for themselves when something is wrong. And when you’re not paying attention to your own needs, that can also lead to depression.

So how do you know if you’re depressed? The signs of caregiver depression come in many forms. Here are some of the most common:

• Feeling sad, anxious, down, angry most of the time
• Fatigue
• Changes in appetite and eating habits, leading to weight loss or gain
• Easily frustrated or angry
• Changes in sleep patterns, either sleeping too little (insomnia) or too much
• Loss of interest in favorite activities
• Physical pain, such as headaches, body pains
• Feelings of guilt or self-criticism, like nothing you do is good enough

You should also be aware of changing behaviors when it comes to alcohol or drug use, including prescription medications.

If you’re experiencing caregiver depression, there are many things you can do to help manage it. But sometimes, having too many choices can feel off-putting. Here are 3 solid places to start:

Communicate

Talk to other family members and friends who have taken on the caregiver role. Join a support group. When you let others in on what you’re dealing with, it can bring you a sense of relief.

Talking about your stress can help make it feel less overwhelming and more manageable. And when you share your challenges with others in a similar situation, it can help you feel understood.

Accept help

When family and friends offer to help, caregivers are often reluctant to accept it. Yet having help can bring you some much-needed relief. It gives you time to take care of yourself and clear your head.

It’s not always easy, but some approaches make it easier for you to ask for help and for the person you’re asking to say yes. 

Find a good therapist

When your situation feels overwhelming, therapy may be the best source of support. Professional therapists are trained to help you learn how to acknowledge, understand, and express your feelings. They can also help you with prioritizing tasks, accepting limitations, managing guilt, and learning coping techniques. 

Finding the right therapist can take some time, because it’s important to work with someone who’s well-suited to your personality and needs. Start by asking your primary care or other health care provider for recommendations. Your company’s employee assistance program may also be a great place to look for help with caregiving issues.

When looking for a therapist, focus on someone who has:

• Proper credentials—they should be trained and licensed to provide mental health services
• Experience treating people with similar concerns as yours or specializing in elder care issues/caregiver issues
• An approach and way of communicating that resonates with you (as in, you "click" with them)
• Availability—and if they aren't available, they can refer you to someone who is

Other important factors to consider when selecting a therapist include:

• Insurance
• Do they accept your insurance? If so, are they in-network or out-of-network?
• What portion of the fees will insurance cover and what will you need to pay?
• Are there restrictions to the number of sessions that are covered?
• Location – If their office is far away, and having in-person sessions is important, you may not feel able to see them as often as you want or need to.
• Telehealth options – These increase accessibility and convenience, which supports consistent, ongoing care.

The important thing to remember is: When you look after yourself, it helps you look after your loved one in the best way possible. Asking for—and accepting—help are signs of strength and show just how much you care about being a caregiver.

Originally posted: May 2017
Last updated: March 2025