At first, it’s easy to add tasks like these to your to-do list. You aren’t taking on extra work—you’re just helping out. You’re helping someone you care about, and it doesn’t feel like much to do a few things for them.
Yet over time, those things add up—and they grow into a mountain of tasks that you struggle to finish. At some point along the way, it dawns on you … you’re not only the child, spouse, cousin, nephew or niece, neighbor or friend. You’ve become a caregiver.
Calling yourself a caregiver
You might hesitate to call yourself a caregiver. Many people in your situation do, no matter how involved they become. Because you’re just lending a hand, and “real” caregivers do so much more.
The truth is, you became a caregiver on that first trip to the grocery store, or when you first raked the leaves, or that first time you drove your dad somewhere.
Being a caregiver is a big job. It requires time, energy, organization, patience, flexibility, and understanding. So, when the amount of help you give increases, you can start to feel overwhelmed—sometimes to the point that you’re depressed and don’t know how you’re going to continue. It can take a toll.
That’s why calling yourself a caregiver is important—even if it’s only with certain friends or just to yourself. Because being a caregiver doesn’t mean you view your loved one as a burden. It means you care about their health and well-being and the quality of their life.
In other words, calling yourself a caregiver reminds you and others that what you’re doing is important—and that you’re not alone.
Support for caregivers
Whether you’ve been a caregiver for years or you’re just beginning to recognize signs of decline in someone you care about—or somewhere in between—it’s important to have a support.
People you know—friends and family—who have had similar experiences can support and encourage you. Their perspective will be helpful as you learn how to manage stress, plan for care, balance work with caregiving, and make decisions that affect your life and that of the person you care for.
There are other resources, formal and informal, that can help, such as your local council on aging, respite care, caregiver support groups, and more. Keep your eyes—and your heart—open to finding and receiving the support that will help you manage caregiving while also taking care of yourself.
Resources for caregivers
Originally posted: May 2017
Last updated: November 2023