Coping tips for sandwich generation caregivers

by Sheila Despres

As a sandwich generation caregiver—someone who’s caring for kids at home as well as older loved ones—you’ve got a lot on your plate. And because there are only 24 hours in a day, you’re doing more things in the hours you spend caregiving than the average caregiver.* That can take a toll on your physical and mental health.

Consider the following tips to help you effectively manage caregiving for older and younger loved ones, while maintaining your own physical and mental well-being.

1. Prioritize regularly

When you’re caring for multiple people, you may often feel like everything needs to be done at once, and that you’re the only person who can do it all. That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself.

If you’re unsure about how critical a task is, ask yourself what would happen if you didn’t do it today. This can help you figure out whether a task is a:

• Must do (essential and can’t wait)
• Should do (important but can be done later if needed)
• Can wait (non-urgent)

Do this often. Caregiving needs change, so something that’s essential today may become less important later. Prioritizing is all about making sure your limited time and energy go where they’re needed most.

2. Set boundaries

Caregivers often see a gradual increase in the number of responsibilities they have. If you’re being asked (or expected) to take on more—caregiving or otherwise—having boundaries can be helpful.

When you’re faced with having a new task added to your list, think about what it takes to manage the responsibilities you already have. You may find that you don’t have the time—or the energy—or that some tasks need to come off your list to make way for something new.

3. Adopt a team-based mentality

You may be used to providing care for your loved ones without much help. Or you may think you have to do it all yourself. At some point, everyone needs help.

Make a list of tasks that someone else can handle. For instance, other people in your household may be able to tackle responsibilities such as housekeeping, grocery shopping, or picking up medication from the pharmacy.

When you do ask for help, be specific. For example: Ask your neighbor to watch your kids when you’re taking your mom to a medical appointment. Or see if your brother can check in on your dad while you’re at a school event.

4. Talk to your employer

If you have work responsibilities, your employer may be a helpful resource. Talk to someone in your human resources department about what type of resources or support may be available.

Then schedule time with your manager to discuss your situation, and how you can use the available resources to better balance your work and personal life. Talk about arrangements that can help you get your job done, while being accessible to your loved ones.

5. Get things delivered 

Nowadays, delivery services make certain tasks easier to manage. For example, groceries and meals can be ordered online and delivered to your door. And prescription medications can be sent by mail—sometimes a few months’ worth at a time—which is a great way to provide consistent care. (Bonus tip: Check with your loved one’s health insurance plan to see if mail order prescriptions are available.)

6. Use telehealth 

Many health care providers offer telehealth services, which can be a good way to ensure your loved one gets the care they need without having to leave the house. The same goes for you, too.

However, it’s important that anyone who has an urgent medical issue gets seen right away. If telehealth won’t address an urgent situation, get in-person care.

5. Take time to tend to yourself

Self-care for caregivers is often talked about—and with good reason. When you take care of your physical and mental health, you’re better able to care for others.

Make time for relaxation by scheduling time to enjoy a favorite activity or pastime, or to connect with good friends. Have 5 minutes? Stop what you’re doing and take some deep breaths.

Stick to a regular sleep routine and schedule, so you get plenty of rest. Try to include healthy food choices in your daily meals.

Remember: Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary for everyone’s health and well-being. So, give yourself permission to take care of yourself. You deserve it.

Sheila Despres is Site Director for the Leominster, Massachusetts, location of Fallon Health’s Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE) – Summit ElderCare, which provides medical care, insurance coverage, home assistance, adult day health services and social support to adults age 55+ so that they can remain living in their homes.

* AARP and National Alliance for Caregiving. Caught in the Middle: The Crucial Role of Sandwich Generation Caregivers The Caregiving in the US 2025 Series. Washington, DC: AARP Public Policy Institute, Sept. 15, 2026. https://doi.org/10.26419/ppi.00421.001

Posted: June 2020
Updated: October 2026